For the life of me I kept searching for a perfect clapback for when guys, and side chicks alike, go for the old adages of “You are the common denominator” or “It’s something wrong with you and the guys you choose”. Trust me, I have tried and tried to come up with a clapback so hard that it would break my tongue. I searched for that something that would express how what we were handed isn’t always what we were truly given; a slight of hand, if you will. I needed something to drown out the blame game placed on men and women for when the wool gets removed and you see a person for who they really are. But nothing was quite so deafening as when I saw the cover photo for Jidenna’s “The Chief“. Now I know I’m all late and what not….but shush, the point still stands.
Now let me preface by saying I can admit that I live a hectic schedule so I only get a chance to experience Jidenna through mainstream methods: award shows, local radio, and Sirius XM. However, when you think Jidenna you think “Classic Man“, A BLACK MAN WHO CAN DANCE, suits, lyrics with messages, and minus his remarks/cameo in Insecure you think “now here is one woke brother!”. The sapiosexual in me was attracted to the genius that was in him. Men and women alike could take one look at Jidenna and think “He’s different”.
Perhaps I am projecting my personal thoughts onto your opinion of this slightly melinated brother in tailored suits, but if I am not….keep up with me. From the moment he stepped on the scene he passed every test from Andre 3000 Individualism 101 to Marvin’s Message Lit. He earned his black belted, black card by being a voice on a platform many of us had yet to reach. He and his lyrics are beyond woke; they are borderline insomniatic! He set the modern tone. If I could hand craft a man, I would start to take bits and pieces of the Chief himself.
But, and there is ALWAYS a but, then I happen to stumble across the cover for his “The Chief“. Yeh, you saw it; the feature photo for this blog. And I immediately felt my heart drop. Jidenna was human, no longer the over used concept of woke. This brotha had taken a full on nap! He went from Classic Man to Average Motherfucker all in one fell swoop. Who cut Samson’s hair?! My Knicker, WHY!!!!? We have enough guys with similiar misogynoir messages already. Though subtle, boo…you are exploiting the hell out of her lady region. Was it too lonely in your lane of upstanding gentleman? I thought all of your women were top generals, not top genitals. It’s as if we don’t already confuse Desiigner with Future and 45 with a viable option. Oh no, being 100% authentic was too much! You had to go and purchase?
Side note: Purchase: (v) When you choose to sellout.
Origin: This post, by this author.
Dramatic, you say? Perhaps. But it was a classic, pardon the pun, case of “Thought it was”. Ladies, follow me. You see a brother, he spits all the great lines, him talk good like him got some sense, he dresses like an adult, you introduce him to your friends, and he appears to have his shit together…or so you “thought it was” the case. Then one day his eyes linger too long on the ass of the waitress in your presence or tries to pressure you for sex because he bought you dinner. You immediately start looking for the signs. You know, the “what did you miss when you made your original assumptions” signs.
So I started to back track, because that is what this world has conditioned us women to do. “I can pull the wool while I’m being polite.” Holy Shiznyee…it was in my face. [Yes, this is a literary stretch but this is my blog, go with me]. “Why can’t every woman end up being my wife?” I see you Solomon. That’s what you meant by “old fashion” man? And it wasn’t until I got ready to write this post did I even hear Bambi!!! Ugh, ain’t this a blip? [Refer back to hectic life and mainstream influence.] I suppose we really do only see what we want to see. I wanted to see a seemingly amazing man making it in the industry without the Louisiana Purchase.
You try to go with the flow, then it bites you in the butt. You look people up and do your research and you take things out of context. But when it comes to him, I suppose I wanted more, I needed him to be more. I needed him to be the true difference. It feels like the suits and the message was a gimmick, and underneath it all he really is just Chris (his character on Insecure). Because, let’s be real, who else was thrown off when he had on jeans and a spousal abuse shirt? He was still foine, but he wasn’t Jidenna.
Am I saying that he can’t be human and be attracted to people? Hell no! Shoot, pick me! I give him permission to be him; not that he needs my permission. So, yes, he gets to be a man. Yes, he gets to explore musically, but this cover matched nothing I was familiar with. You know, like that video where the father shaves his beard and the daughter screams hysterically. You do not look familiar to me!!! And after doing my research I have discovered that I was napping right beside him. While I dreamed of suits and a new world order he dreamed of his head in the lap of a woman in sheer thigh highs and a swimsuit just big enough to keep her from having a camel toe. Who is her esthetician? I need her number.
I know I am potentially looking at this the wrong way, and I also know that I write statements like that to not feel foolish for how I feel after seeing a picture. But I wonder, can we get a truly woke brother? And I don’t mean bean pie, hotep Tuesday, “catching a cold is ideology of the white man” woke. But rather women are humans that deserve respect, music on another level, forget the system, “I am my brother’s keeper” , alarm set 30 minutes early type of woke. A girl can dream, right?
Will I continue to listen to his music? Ask me again next week. I’m like a wounded ex right now. And no, I’m not bitter, I just don’t forget shit. Jidenna is not locked in by law to live up to my expectations of him. But I do have a right to feel how I feel when the ROI ain’t what was promised in the investors meetings. Yes, I have a clear understanding of where he comes from, but perhaps I need a better understanding of who he is and who he wants to become. Because right now I feel like yet another intelligent black man sweet talked me out of my panties with a thesis on the diaspora with forewords from Angela Davis autographed by Jesus himself. DO YOU KNOW HOW SEXY THAT WOULD BE!!!! UGH! In the meantime, I am keeping my eyes open for moments when woke brothers take naps.