If it aint tricking if you got it, then it can’t be cheating if it’s not sex, right? Well, it depends on who you ask. Some girls, mainly the insecure ones, get all in their feelings when it comes to their man so much as even looking at another female in her presence. While others, they prefer that their man get their looks on. So, who is right? Is it cheating?
I think that there are different levels of cheating and you have to decide which carries more weight, which is more important to you, and which is a figment of your imagination. You can’t win them all honey. If it is not working for you, bounce.
There is physical cheating. This is where your man goes out into the world, willingly or intentionally, and he finds him a nice piece of Buffy The Body’s best asset and he waxes it like he was Mr. Miyagi’s honor student. This, to me, is one of the worst, but it isn’t the worst. Why, you ask? Because….guys are different. To some of them, physical is just, well, physical. If you weren’t tooting it up in the air and Kat Stacks was… no matter how much he loves you, he’s going to tap that if the opportunity presents itself. Now, by no means am I saying that this is the right thing to do. And as a female, I am hoping he would exercise a little more self-control and communication within the relationship……but…. I understand it. Depending on WHO he slept with ( family member vs some random Betty) i think he should get another chance. Chalk that one up to growing pains, forgive it ( NEVER FORGET IT) and move on. Most girls can’t do that, all girls shouldnt have to, but there are some things in your closet that you wouldn’t want him holding over your head for eternity either. Like, you really told that man you were a virgin? *Side eye*
Then there is the mental cheating. This is one of the DUMBEST forms of cheating that was ever created by a mammal carrying two X-chromosomes. Honey, this is where a man looks across the room because a woman is rocking a pair of jeans that catches his eye. As long as he doesn’t cat call, ask her for her number, or leaves you for her…. honey, let him have it. Let him get all worked up for a girl he can’t have and that is his treat for the night. You should be secure in yourself to know that it is just looking. Besides, if he likes the girl in the bakery aisle, you can check out the Adonis in the frozen foods aisle and then blame your erect nipples on the surrounding temperature.
But the beast of all beasts is emotional cheating. KILL HIM DEAD IF HE EMOTIONALLY CHEATS!!!! lol. I give you all out permission to call him a bed wetting, limp penis having, mama’s boy in front of all the girls at the strip club if he ever emotionally cheats on you. See, I believe that both sexes can physically cheat and it mean nothing. But if a woman mentally cheats, she is gone for good. Because once her mind is made up there is nothing you can do about it. Same goes for if a guy emotionally cheats. If another woman can get your guy’s heart. Boo, pack it up because there is no turning back. This is the guy that can’t make it through the day without talking to a female who isn’t/hasn’t been a close friend all of his life. This is a guy who can tell her more secrets than he can tell you. Yeh…. guys don’t play with their emotions, so if you don’t have it….you’re not the one. And that is all the advice I can tell you about that one.
So, you know what I had to do…..that’s right, ask the 200 men. They were asked:
Some females consider flirting cheating. What are two things that you/males do in a relationship that you do NOT consider cheating?
And ladies, before you even roll your eyes and snap your neck….. don’t prejudge what they will say. This is one of those moments where you have the attention of several different males, from several different walks of life and age ranges. Shut up….and listen. This advice could save your relationship. Just saying…..
- Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Lookin and Fantasizing!.. Everything else Is def Cheating 4 Both!! One is no better than the other. She flirts with a dude through her mannerisms and body language; subtle hints that make a dude want to holla.
- Tori A: A cordial hug or laughter in a friendly convo
- H.O. R: No matter what the man does the woman is always going to consider it cheating [if] it’s not with them or for them. So that’s a catch 22 [ 2Deep: Poor guys. They think that we females are crazy. He is basically saying that he cant do anything right unless you tell him what to do. Shame. We’ve got to do better ladies.]
- P Reddz: I don’t play. I consider all of that sh!t cheating!
- Ty F: Clean dancing and having lunch or dinner [ 2Deep Yes, ladies, a guy can dance with a woman and it be okay. Now the minute you see him grabbing fists full of butt, send in the troops…or the ugly girl in your crew. And guys can eat and not want to jump the bones of the woman across the table. ]
- DSMILEY1: Hanging out, like playing pool, & attending a sporting event together.
- Lil Hayze: There are a lot of things I do not consider cheating. You gotta give me more of a specific idea of what type of things you’re talking about. For instance, I would consider something verbal and physical to different degrees or levels.
- boisucre4u: By telling you that you are beautiful and looking at you. [2Deep: WHAT?! Guys can’t even compliment me any more? DAMN SHAME!!! lol]
- Malcolm K: I don’t do anything that I wouldn’t [want] done to me, if I’m in a committed, monogamous relationship. Most men would say talking to other women in a platonic manner, I believe it’s all about your arrangement and ground rules.
- James F: Flirting…getting other females numbers…gettin my d*ck sucked lmao nah im just playing…Ummm thats about it. As long there is no penetration it’s not cheating. [2Deep: This NINJA here! lol. ]
- Fareed Gramz: Flirt, and build friendships
- HANdSome: Compliments, and Greeting Kiss on the cheek (apart of my culture)
- !!!K Moto!!!!: If a female feels you’re cheating it doesn’t matter what we feel as men. So it’s better to be safe than sorry!
- Dr. Feel Good: Flirting and going to strip clubs
- Dirk Diggler: Flirting & [conversing]! As long as there’s no exchange a kiss or bodily fluids it’s not cheating.
- Lateef25: Flirting is ok if you knew him before I meet you and he knows that it’s just innocent. And as long as you don’t do it in front of me. But i think flirting and looking and talking online isn’t cheating.
- Black Kryptonite aka the KID: Basic conversation with other females (co-workers) and sending contact pics
- Lamont W: Flirting with old women on the job, and having deep convo with a platonic female friend.
- Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**: Looking and Flirting… Not cheating at all because sometimes just being polite can be perceived as flirting. And looking is natural women do it just as much, if not more…
- rroyallty: Smiling and complimenting. If you cross that boundary then you’re gonna get yourself in trouble.
- Raymond S: That’s a good question. The only thing i can think of is hugging and a kiss on the cheek, not your butt your face lol
- G. J: Talking,and looking
Okay, so….judging from the responses women have become their man’s mother and his parole officer. Did you notice how many times they said “it doesn’t matter what I do” or you will ” get yourself in trouble”? Is he going to get a time out? That is hella disturbing. Please inform me where they to that at? Yes…. you read correctly.
I think that all of these things, with the exception of James F, are things that shouldnt even cause a wave in your relationship. That is just a sign that you are dealing with an insecure woman. Now, if you flirt and comment rudely… then ye, she should go off on you. If the contact pic she sends you on your phone is her bucky naked, then yes…. you should get your butt stomped. But all of the above is high school mess.
Ladies, if your man is looking across the room at someone…take that as an opportunity to see what it is that he likes. Ask him. He may tell you that he likes how she looks in that dress. Now you have insight into what he likes, either the body shape or the dress, pick one…lol. Besides, it is healthy for him. If a man stops looking then that means that he is dead, and we want living men. The true test is, if your man can look and still bring his eyes back to you without being forced to by you yelling and causing a scene. The only reason why you are acting a straight donkey is because you are afraid that he wont turn his head back after he finishes looking. Get over it and grow up.
SO moving forward, ladies…. let it go. You are just broadcasting how insecure you are. NONE of these examples are cheating. Sorry, you can’t make me change my mind. That is it… that is all. And Scene!
Want to learn more about 2Deep? Visit her poetry site at Ms2Deep.com
Photography credit: Cathryn Lavery